Set backs....

Today is day 5 of sickie Jay. I have not been to a gym or worked on exercise in any way in 4 days. Today is day 5.

That is me. Just awake at 9:30 am. It is 9:46 as we speak. I woke up really, really depressed. I mean, call the therapist I think this is it depressed. As you can see, that is my attempt at looking somewhere in between "Happy!" insane and blank.

I am not that depressed right now. I do know that when I do not work out I get restless and anxious. I realized that last night and also last time I was at work which was Tuesday night.

I like this guy Cesar Milan who is also known as "The Dog Whisperer." He says you need to walk your dogs every day or they get restless and can become aggressive, board, etc. Well, I think that applies to humans too.

I think that after so long of not working out and having this spiral of eating junk and being up and down with depression that my week + of getting to a gym and walking my dogs and my daughters dogs and then not because of sickness has shown me the difference in my life with and with out exercise.

I believe in one of my blogs I mentioned exercise as evil like exorcism or something like that.

I know believe that it is an exorcism but an exorcism of all that is not healthy and all the tension and waste that is built up in my body during the day. I need to exercise to feel better about my self, my life and my choices and I need to exercise to have the energy and wit to make changes when I am not happy with any of my current choices.

If I don't exercise I get depressed, anxious and I quell that by overeating, obsessing, making poor choices and doubting myself and my decisions.

When I do exercise I am strong. I feel good, I feel great, I am full of energy, I make good decisions, I make plans for change for myself and the people I manage. When I exercise I follow through on those plans and changes as I am up much more.

When I get depressed I don't follow through on my plans.

Exercise motivates me. The more I do it, the more motivated I am to do it.

Today I feel better. I mean, my cold is still hanging on but I don't feel like I have a cold except for the cough and the sniffles. Today I need to hit the gym. Not kill myself, not kick my ass, but I do need to hit the gym. I miss my fix.

One of the worst things about this cold is each day is one day that I could have been exercising and one day more that I have not been so I am 5 days behind schedule......

I NEED TO FIX THAT TODAY!

.....Wish me luck bitches.......